in your atmosphere

I feel as though my life is standing still and the rest of the world is whirling about me.

Faces move so fast they are blurred and unrecognizable.

Streaks of light fill my frame of vision, like flashes of what used to be.

Nothing is telling me to stay still. But nothing is calling me to move either. The choice is mine and I'm unsure.

Still I stay, blanketed in anonymity. If I can't see them, they can't see me.

My eyes saccade to glimpse words or people and I wonder if its a sign of something. Is this telling me to move? Or telling me to be still? Which path will be richer? More lush?

Which path will show me love? The kind of love where I love him as fiercely as he loves me. The kind of love the ebbs and flows as the sea but is as constant as the waves.

What if I choose wrong? What if I already tasted this love and gave it away? Will that be all for me? Is this the end or the beginning? They look so similar. Shall I stay until someone or something wills me to move? Or shall I move before I'm sure?

My Queen is exposed and my pawns have run amok yet the clock is ticking on my turn.

Then suddenly it all seems so clear. Blurred vision comes into focus and I am pulled back into the atmosphere. Living off hope and dreams that will not be wasted on my youth.

Check Mate.

Happy Birthday Nelly (woops forgot)

I forgot to post this when it happened. My little Penelope turned one on Valentine's Day. She got a new dress from grandma, a cake and a birthday hat (of course!). All were a hit, except for the cake. As the pickiest eater on the planet, I can't complain that my child is one too.